Monday, October 26, 2009

Me

The morning rain contributed to my entry today. The fact that it is now 12:09pm, and it hasn't even let up. Great. Now my Halloween Decorations will be wet, and I'm too lazy to go outside to pick them up. I had to give myself a challenge, to see what I could come up with in 30 min. So here I go:

Wait. This isn't the place to do this. I can't write something in 30 min, and post it on this darn, lonely blog of mine. I get real tired of writing stuff in my journal. If I write a short, it is now.

Rain. Again. Pounding on my roof, trying to get in. I can't seem to escape the affect that rain has on my emotions. The waves of my failures come over me, as I lie in this vast ocean. I'm drowning in my own tears, trying not to succumb to my unconscious fears. The noise in my mind is erasing this place and time. I take a deep breath, to calm my anxieties..one breath..now, two..moving onto three..My body is still, but my pain is real. I don't want the latest manufactured anecdote to numb my sense of being, I'm trying to discover the truth of my "meaning".

I've seen too much. Heard too much. I don't want to see anymore, or hear anymore. I want to just be "me".